Dear readers, at the request of my bride and offspring-carrier, I would like to share a very important "FIRST" for yours truly.
Holly and I decided that we should embrace an opportunity to learn some things in preparation for our anticipated January arrival by volunteering in our church nursery. Holly worked with the wee little kids, while I assisted in the toddler room.
Now, I've learned through some friends how troubling potty-training can be, so when I heard that one of the boys in the nursery (a 20-month old) was potty trained, I was greatly impressed. Then the time came when he did a little wiggle and dance to let us know it was "go time". At this point, an older child might say "I need to potty" or something along the lines of "Hey you! I gotta go!" But my co-worker took the hint and asked if I wanted to help the little lad out. So I grabbed the portable "potty-seat" that his mom brought and off we went.
Once we were in position I didn't know if a "one" or "two" would be in order. I asked. He said nothing. Then he began to tug on the toilet paper on the side, cluing me in to the fact that this might be a "two". (Apparently I forgot about aforementioned pee-dance that happened 2.5 minutes earlier.) So I do what seems best and sat him on the seat.
Nope. That wasn't right.
This, dear friends, was evident when the little stream found its way several feet away onto me - shirt, pants...and pride.
For some reason I said in the quickest and most encouraging way, "wait!" And so...he did. (And I was already starting to be impressed again for I know that can be tough...when you really gotta go!)
In this opportunistic moment, I picked the champ up, turned him around and leaned him over Mr. Unnecessary Potty-seat when he resumed his performance perfectly.
After all was said and done... and the wipes had cleaned up both of us... I popped around the corner to illustrate my accomplishment to Holly. When the sympathetic laughter subsided, I proudly returned to my task of toddler-duty. It wasn't a complete and total failure, I must add. I learned a lot: 1) The pee-dance is for the pee, 2) Any time I can make Holly laugh at me for my ignorance is a good step toward working out the kinks in the inevitable system.
Thankfully, my research tells me that girls will not have the sit/stand paradox.
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6 comments:
Indeed not. Though let it be known, that even in the sitting position, little girls can somehow get pee outside the bowl.
Ooh... correction noted.
And that makes one more thing learned.
Brilliant, Justin. Probably my favorite post of yours. dang..
And you should know, the phrase offspring-carrier offends me. I'm considering breaking up with y'all. Well, but keeping Holly & the mini.
Wow Mandy. I wasn't thinking that I'd get dumped so early in the school year. Perhaps it all makes sense now that your humor has diminished. {Insert choice of crack: three decade joke or metallic poising through the nasal passage. ... so hard... cannot choose!}
Will Drew still be my friend?
wow, you have come a long way in your story-telling skills, my friend. this one had both of us laughing out loud.
There is yet another good reason to make Holly laugh. As she gets further and further into her pregancy, the risk of losing a little pee-pee with each chuckle goes exponentially up. She might not tell you, but you'll know. She just peed herself. Tee-hee.
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